


May I Touch You

by Alsykt



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alsykt/pseuds/Alsykt
Summary: Both boys caught their brothers in the act. One shrugs it off while another in denial.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicating this fic to Dannyca, Mariko & Yurika-chan
> 
> I had this written most likely just last year? I was very enthusiastic when I first wrote it but I got busy and then it has been left sitting in my folder. Since I have some time now, I thought it is a waste not to post it out even if no one reads it so here it is. Also, so sorry its un-betaed (>_<)
> 
> This was actually heavily inspired by the manga I was scanlating since it felt so much like YTYM. 
> 
> Ps: Its my first chaptered fic hurray! and hope you ladies enjoy it. :)

So how do I start this…well I guess it all started when the two of them saw their older brothers doing something that wasn’t meant for them to see. It actually stunned  _one_  of them.  
  
“ _Kazu, don’t move so much_ _…_ ”  
  
Ryosuke saw his older brother whispering so ever softly and huskily to another guy who seemed breathless and not-in-control as his brother did his ministrations. They were both kneeling beside the bed with the guy’s hand clutching the bed sheets while  _his_  back lean against his older brother whom had one arm wrapped around him while his other disappeared beyond his underwear which was exposed as  _his_  jeans was unzipped.  
  
_“But Jin…I can’t…”_  
  
They were panting heavily both so deep in their own world that they didn't notice them, there… _watching_ …  
  
“ _Keep calm…it won’t be long_ _…_ ”  
  
They looked at each other. Swallowing their saliva.  
  
“ _J-just get it done... get it done and over…quickly_ _…_ ”  
  
And it wasn’t until then that they realize they had been holding their breath.  
  
“ _Kazu…you don’t mean that…you wanna come right…?_ ”  
  
Their breath hitched. Although they weren’t the ones doing it, but they could feel the heat emitting from both their bodies and their faces were flushed red hearing the voices as they kept facing each other.  
  
“ _I-it’s not true_ _…_ ”  
  
“ _A-ah…Hgh_ _…_ ”  
  
You can’t blame them…I meant  _one_  of them from being stunned. They were still young and ignorant middle school kids who happened to witness such scene when their brothers didn’t even bother closing the doors properly, not that it would help either with the other guy being so loud.  
  
They gulped. They turned. They ran.  
  
Away from there.  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
They had no idea what they were running from actually. It’s just that they felt that they had to or they would have died of suffocation? Awkwardness? Embarrassment?  Well they had no idea, just which they kept running.  
  
By the time they stopped to catch up with their breath, they were nowhere near the house but ended up at some neighborhood playground.  
  
“W-what the hell was that??” He asked after they had calmed down…from the running only actually as his face was still flushed from before.  
  
“You don’t know?” Ryosuke asked simply still panting slightly.  “It was se-ouch! Yuto! What was that for?!” he got smacked on the head from him, which interrupted what he was about to answer.  
  
“You don’t have to answer that! I was just asking hypothetically! And you were answering like it was nothing as well!”  
  
“Nothing? But it’s just as you saw...?” Yuto flinched and then there was that silent awkwardness after as they both tried to take in the current situation.  
  
…  
  
“Let’s go home…” Ryosuke started breaking the silence that lasted for a good two minutes.  
  
“Then what?” Yuto was being sceptical as he frowned.  
  
“Act like nothing had happened.”  
  
“Like as per usual?”  
  
“We didn’t see anything, we don’t know anything.” Ryosuke paused looking at him as he continued to ponder over what Yuto had seen previously and if he would be able to pull off as knowing nothing at all. “Alright?”  
  
“Mm…” Yuto nodded although Ryosuke was sure he wasn’t convinced if he could act like he had seen nothing.  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
_‘How can Ryo-chan act as if he had seen nothing…’_ Yuto pondered as he tried to take in what Ryosuke was saying while his head was spinning with all thoughts.  
  
_‘Maybe its because…he had gone through the divorce of his parents…that he seems so calm at times like this?… How I wish I could be that calm…’_  
  
“Yuto?” he heard Ryouke calling him, “If you feel uncomfortable going home, you can always come over to my place first.”  
  
‘ _He’s so grown up_ _…_ ’  Yuto thought.  
  
“No way!”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“You think?” Yuto exclaimed, “I don’t wanna go to where they were doing that there awhile ago!”  
  
“Oh…yeah I forgot.” Ryosuke smiled sheepishly as he seemed to have easily forgotten what they have just seen a while ago.  
  
‘ _While I on the other hand, am still an ignorant brat._ ’  
  
_What would I do without him…_  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
In the end, they both went back home respectably since it was getting dark and all. They can’t be staying out late and night. Yuto’s older brother was already home, in the kitchen, preparing dinner.  
  
“I’m home…” he announced into the house.  
  
“Welcome back!” His older brother called back from the kitchen.  
  
Although his parents are still together, they are hardly ever home due to being busy at work, so in the house, there is usually only his older brother and him. Yuto’s older brother, Kazuya is still in high school along with Jin as well. They both are practically studying together in the same school…and well skipping it together most of the time too…  
  
Yuto wasn’t sure what came over him, but after dinner, he approached Kazuya to want to talk with him.  
  
“Kazu-nii…” he tried as Kazuya was washing the dishes with a lit cigarette clasps in-between his lips.  
  
“Hm?” he answered without looking back up while Yuto continued to help clear the table.  
  
“I saw it…” he tried in a soft voice that Yuto don’t suppose he would be able to hear him.  
  
“Hm?” He made again and sure enough he couldn’t hear him.  
  
“We saw it.” Yuto said it a little louder this time. “At Ryo-chan’s place…in the afternoon…” he paused looking at Kazuya for some reaction before continuing. “You…and Jin-nii…”  
  
“…” Kazuya was quiet as he finished up the last dish and was wiping his hands before removing the cigarette from his lips and turned to Yuto.  
  
He then walked over to the table where Yuto was at and pulled a chair to sit down.  
  
“Sit down.” He said.  
  
Yuto did as he was told and after that there wasn't any words exchanged as Kazuya inhaled and exhaled the smoke from his cigarette. It was really awkward but Yuto could only keep his head down as the silence continued.  
  
They have no idea how many minutes had passed but suddenly, Yuto felt a waft of smoke blown towards him, and then a pat on his head. He lifted his head to see Kazuya crushing whatever was left of his cigarette butt onto the ashtray and finally turned to face him with his hand still on his head.  
  
“Idiot. That was just for fun.” Kazuya said simply removing his hands from his head.  
  
‘ _Huh? Why is everyone so calm?_ ’ Yuto thought.  
  
“For…fun?” Yuto looked funny with his reaction and that made Kazuya laughed at him.  
  
“Yeah, it’s nothing, we both needed release and that girls are a pain in the ass after sex or so Jin says.” He explained without a care as if Yuto was even allowed to know. “Ryo-chan saw it too?”  
  
“Yeah…” he nodded.  
  
“You had better not tell anyone. Tell that to Ryo-chan too.” Kazuya’s voice sounded serious all of a sudden.  
  
“If you do…which I trust my baby brother wouldn’t do that, but if you do, I’ll kill you.”  
  
Yuto flinched.  
  
“And then I would follow after you. After all, I can’t leave my baby brother alone now, can I?”  
  
Yuto couldn’t utter a word as he stared blankly at his brother who seemed unaffected by his own words. Does he even know what he just said?  
  
“Why do you seem so surprise?” Kazuya laughed amusedly, and because of that, Yuto thought he was joking and was about to sigh a relief when he continued, “It’s expected isn’t it?”  
  
There. He rendered his little brother speechless as he stood to leave the table but not before he ruffled his hair with an amused grin.  
  
It took him a while to regain his senses. Kazuya can be very unpredictable at times to the point that Yuto can’t be sure if he was joking or if there was even a hint that indicated it was at all.  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
Yuto was still shocked from the conversation he had with his brother the previous night that while he was still sitting at his table- which was near the window facing the field spacing out. He didn’t even notice it was lunch break until someone called him out of his reverie.  
  
“Yuto, its lunch break.” Yuto heard someone say but didn’t respond. “Yuto! I’m talking to you!”  
  
“W-what?” he gasp finally looking up at the person that called him. “U-uh, sorry sorry my bad, what were you saying, Ryo-chan?”  
  
“I said its lunch break.”  
  
“Oh. Ahaha.”  
  
“Let’s go to rooftop then?” Ryosuke suggested they have their lunch at their usual spot.  
  
“U-um…yeah…”  
  
‘ _He sure is calm like he has seen nothing of that sort_ _…_ ’  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
“What did you bring today for lunch?” Ryosuke was asking Yuto while he continued on with the messy thoughts that were running in his head. “I brought your favorite, melon bun~ but I’m gonna eat it.” But Yuto was too preoccupied to actually notice the melon bun.  
  
They headed up to the rooftop where they usually hide from others who might want to interrupt; Ryosuke after all is popular among their cohort since he is always so cool headed not to mention kind and good looking.  
  
There was some silence as they walked towards their usual spot and sat down; making themselves comfortable which Ryosuke then took out his melon bun to start munching on it. Yuto took out his lunch, which was egg sandwich and started chewing on it as well.  
  
They continue sitting in silence as they ate their food. From the corner of his eyes, Yuto could tell Ryosuke was facing him; in fact he is looking straight at Yuto. He probably knows something is wrong with the younger…well with the way he acted- obviously he would notice, but he tried to ignore and looked anywhere else but him.  
  
The sky seemed really serene and calm; they were even shaded from the sun due to the clouds. It really is a good day. They could even hear the birds chirping as they flocked past. Though for some reason, Yuto was nervous as hell.  
  
“Ryo-chan…” he decided to break the silence and tell him what happened last night with Kazuya. “Yesterday…I asked Kazu-nii about it, he said it was just for the fun and also to satisfy their needs.” Ryosuke immediately widens his eyes as he stares incredulously at the latter.  
  
“Y-you mean you a-asked him about that?!” He exclaimed while choking on his bread. Yuto patted his back as he continued to cough out the crumb that had went the wrong way. “You asked Kazu-nii?!” he continued once his throat cleared.  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“You are really unpredictable sometimes, I thought it would frighten you or something, instead you actually went to asked him about it…” Ryosuke paused as he processes the information and “Hmm…for fun…? To satisfy sexual needs…?” he made a face.  
  
“’Cause Jin-nii doesn’t like cuddling or hugging or trying to coax girls after sex, at least that’s what Kazu-nii told me.” Yuto continued seeing how the other seems to be pondering over something which probably doesn’t seem right to him.  
  
“Really…” He brows furrowed as he think through again lips can be seen slowly protruding, forming a pout… _cute_.  
  
_W-what…?_ Yuto felt his heart skipped abit.  
  
“What? Why?” He tried to push his thoughts away as to focus on the topic on hand.  
  
“Hmm…it doesn’t seem like they were just having simple fun to me.”  
  
“…What do you mean?” The taller was a little taken aback with the conclusion Ryosuke came up with but he had no idea since it’s all new to him. Yuto just looked at him letting him continue with whatever he was telling him. His cheeks actually turned a slight red as he was doing it.  
  
“It’s not my first time catching Jin-nii doing it actually. I’ve seen him doing it with various other people…which mostly…in fact are all girls. Kazu-nii is the only guy that I’ve seen Jin-nii’s done it with.” He turned his head to look away from him while going back to take a bite of his bread.  
  
“What?!” Was all the came out from the poor hearted boy. Yuto didn’t even notice he was squeezing his sandwich until he felt the crushed egg spilling out and on to his hand.  
  
“Our parents aren’t home most of the time so Jin-nii didn’t felt the need to actually close his bedroom door properly. In-fact,” he paused for awhile to think before continuing, “I think he left it that way on purpose as I’ve overheard him once saying to his partner that his brother- that is me has returned from school, so as not to corrupt my young mind, the girl should leave first and he will contact her later. Whether or not he does it I have no idea, or whether did he felt bad for actually using me as an excuse in the first place was right or not.” Ryosuke then rolled his eyes as he waved a hand. “What a brother right?” he then laughed it off as if it was something no big deal.  
  
‘ _No wonder he can be so calm yesterday!’_  
  
Yuto was left speechless and could only sigh as he palmed his forehead with his head facing the ground.  
  
“Yuto?” the shorter called. “Anyways, like I was telling you, Jin-nii, when he was making out with girls, he kind of laughed it off finding some lame excuses to get rid of them as soon as it was over. Now that I think about it, I got to be thankful that most, in fact none actually came back to caused trouble…but that’s not the point,” he sighed in relief as he realized that and couldn't help but laughed it off a little, Yuto could only raise an eyebrow at him, signalling for him to continue.  
  
“Ok ok, the point is that when he does it with Kazu-nii…it’s a totally different feel I get off from him…how should I put it…desperate I think. It’s like he’s a totally different person with Kazu-nii.” Ryosuke stopped to give his theory more thoughts as if he was trying to come up with reasons to proof his point.  
  
“It’s like, he doesn’t push him away as soon as they were done, he doesn't use me as an excuse even when both of them knew I was back, he couldn’t stop hugging, not letting go of Kazu-nii even when Kazu-nii tried to leave…oh my! Yuto what happened to you? Why is your face so red?”  
  
“What???” Yuto jolted back as Ryosuke looked at him with his sudden exclamation. The former was blushing scarlet and didn’t even realize it. It was because the scene from yesterday actually resurfaced and was replaying in his head as he listened to him. Ryosuke seemed to realize that as well.  
  
“Oh, did it actually reminded you?” he said it casually, “ah…I’m sorry…”  
  
“So what if Jin-nii was desperate?! So what if it was different with Kazu-nii?!” Yuto don’t know what got into him, but before he realizes it, those words had burst out from his mouth as he stood on his feet. He didn’t even have the time to stop himself as words just spilled out by itself, “And it wasn’t just for fun?!” and now no words could be taken back.  
  
Silence engulfed them once again as he finally stopped his rampage. Ryosuke was silent as well. He didn’t know what else to say after that but he could feel his eyes on him as he look straight ahead, pass him and wasn’t actually focusing on anything. They stayed like that for quite some time and it was somewhat awkward.  
  
Remembering something else, one of them spoke up first.  
  
“Anyways, don’t mention this to anyone else. Kazu-nii said he will kill us if anyone finds out.” Yuto reminded Ryosuke as he saw him jolted back in shock.  
  
“K-kiil us??!”  
  
“He said he will do that and then follow after…”  
  
“…”  
  
“…”  
  
“Uh-huh…”  
  
‘ _Somehow…that sounded kinda childish the way I had put it_ _…_ ’  
  
“Alright.” he heard him say. “I’ll keep quiet.” And as he said that, for some reason, it felt like his eyes sparkled and he was surrounded with sparkly stars…like he thinks its some secret that he has been entrusted with all his life…  
  
‘ _What the hell was that??_ ’ Yuto groaned inwardly.  
  
…  
  
“Wanna have some melon bread?” Ryosuke broke the silence again that they didn’t even realize it was there.  
  
“A-ah…ok.” Yuto said and took the other melon bread he had and sat back down again.  
  
They silently ate with what was left of their lunch hour and enjoyed the breeze that had actually been there the whole time. But the calmer of the two had to break that nice feeling again by saying something that the other immediately reacted badly to it.  
  
“We’ll always be just friends right?” With that calm tone of his again which had been the cause of latter spitting his bread out from his mouth from sudden shock.  
  
“Are you an idiot?!” Yuto raised his voice to sound like he wasn’t affected though he was trembling with nervousness. “Like I would do that with you at all!” Ryosuke seemed surprised with his outburst. “Don’t make it seemed like I’m the gay one here and that you are keeping that straight boundary between us! It should be me saying that!” he exclaimed.  
  
“No, no, no! Yuto! You got it wrong!” Ryosuke immediately tried to clarify when he realizes his meaning. “I meant there is no need for us to avoid each other and still stay as friend! That’s what I meant!”  
  
“Oh…yeah…o-o-of course!”  _What the hell is wrong with me?!_  
  
Ryosuke had his usual smile again with a tint of red on his cheeks, he just couldn’t see now that his own face has also turned bright red in contrast to the sky that is as blue as ever.  
  
  
★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆  
  
  
“Hey. Ryosuke. Have you ate?” It was already late when he heard Jin’s voice. He usually works till very late or that there is a high possibility that he doesn’t even get to see him at all even when he leaves for school in the morning. Even when he does see him at home, he is always going at it with some random girls he had picked up. But today was a surprise that Jin actually called for his little brother. Ryosuke looked up from the book he was reading at the dinner table. His legs were lifted up on the chair so that it was easier for him to lean his chest against his knees as he read.  
  
“Nope, not yet.”  
  
“Wanna go out and eat?” Jin suggested. He has hardly called to have dinner with him, not that he is an irresponsible brother or a bad one, he just has he own way of living especially after the divorced of their parents. He doesn’t believe in steady relationship what with their parents being a bad example, but he does try to do his job as an older brother should…or could. He actually tried making dinner once, and Ryosuke really appreciated it…but if Ryosuke had to comment on it, he would probably say that Jin very well sucked at cooking.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
After reaching the family restaurant that was just a short distance away from their house, The younger ordered pasta while the older ordered a sushi set, though he wasn’t really eating but picking at it and just a while later Ryosuke would know why.  
  
“Say…” He started as he continued picking at the garnish that was long placed at the side of the plate. “You've seen everything right? That day. With Kazuya.” he couldn’t tell what he was really feeling seeing how it came out as a statement rather than a question. His tone monotone and face damn well straight. But for sure he wasn’t mad.  
  
“Yeah…” Was all that came out. And now it was his turn to pick on the mushrooms that were supposedly to be gone by now had it not been for the current situation.  
  
“I knew it.” At this point, Jin wasn’t even holding his chopsticks anymore but instead leaning backwards against the booth’s couch.  
  
“You couldn’t have put it any less direct can you.” Ryosuke replied sarcastically.  
  
“But that’s what it is.” He put it simply and he too simply rolled his eyes. Oh his brother, he can be very tactless at times.  
  
“You’re right but-“he cut in.  
  
“I meant to say was that, there was someone else with you right?” ‘ _So that was what he wanted to know. Sheesh, and here I thought he was trying to be thoughtful._ ’  
  
“Oh, it was Yuto.”  
  
“Heh, so he too had seen it. I guess its fine.”  
  
“It’s not fine at all you insensitive of a brother.”  
  
“Why not? Yuto lips are sealed isn’t it?” Jin was already relaxed knowing it was Yuto who was with his brother that day and leaned forward to reach for his chopsticks. Seems like he has the appetite now.  
  
“Tsk, I really want to smack you. That’s not the problem isn’t it?” Ryosuke let out a groan as he slouched slightly to show his brother how hopeless he can be sometimes.  
  
“Pft. It’s part of growing up.” Jin snorted as he tried to keep his laughter from bursting, they do not want to be a nuisance to the public.  
  
“It’s not funny! Gosh! Jin-nii!” Ryosuke exclaimed though it was sort of half-hearted, he wasn’t really mad at him. In fact he felt glad he could actually talk to Jin like this, even without much communication, they don’t really have that awkward boundary between them as brothers. They both are supposedly opened minded and somehow they know that they can trust each other. “He actually went to ask Kazu-nii about it directly!”  
  
Jin suddenly choked on his sushi as he tried to cough out whatever had went down the wrong way because he was eating when he stated that, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud. And Ryosuke? He was laughing at him while he pounded his chest and an attempt to glare at him but failed.  
  
Once they were done- I meant him with his choking and Ryosuke with his laughing, “Serves you right. But is it funny to you? That he went to ask Kazu-nii?” Ryosuke went serious all of a sudden. “Kazu-nii actually managed to convince Yuto that you two were just doing it for fun and were only to ease each others’ sexual desires.”  
  
Jin’s face changed color immediately. And it wasn’t because of Ryosuke turning serious all of a sudden- but it was what he had said. “Yuto took it seriously you know? I’m worried about his innocence…” Ryosuke sighed as he looked at Jin who stoned suddenly with his brows knitted together; he was frowning and thinking at the same time.  
  
He then whispered something very softly but the other could just barely make out that he was saying “For fun…huh-“  
  
Ryosuke suppose that wasn’t meant to be heard so he didn’t say anything else until Jin repeated it, this time directing it to him.  
  
“Kazuya said it was just for fun huh. Was that what he said?” Jin seemed furious with the statement but he didn’t let it show, at least not an outburst and there was also that tinge of sadness. It sounded like it was nothing and that made Ryosuke gasp with realization that Jin was probably hurt by it but decided that there was no point in letting it shown.  
  
“Kazu-nii probably just wanted to quickly brushed off Yuto’s question that’s why he put it like that-“ he quickly explained hoping Jin would feel better with that.  
  
“But he did say that didn’t he.” With that, Jin abruptly stood up causing the chair to almost fall backwards. He then slammed some cash on the table and told Ryosuke to use it to settle the bill. The said guy was dumbfounded with the sudden course of action that his mouth just hung open with no words coming out, but only manages to reply with a hesitant nod.  
  
Jin was about to walk off when Ryosuke suddenly thought of something and stood up as well to call after him, “Don’t get angry at Yuto alright?”  
  
He looked back over his shoulders with a raised brow; “I won’t, why would I?” he lifted slightly the corner of his lips before shrugging off and walk out of the restaurant.  
  
_‘Ah…he is mad at Kazu-nii…Better give Yuto a call.’_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the very late update. Hopefully I'll be able to finish posting this. Thanks for reading this crappy fic.

“Hello? Ryo-chan?”

“Yuto, Jin-nii is on the way to your place now- “As Ryosuke was speaking the doorbell rang.

“What?” and then hurried footsteps from the corridor passing right outside his bedroom door could be heard.

“Eh…He knew we saw them the other day…” He explained.

“You didn’t…”

“Anyways Jin-nii seemed a little uptight, agitated probably so be careful.”

“Seriously…” Yuto then hear some noises and voices outside of his room at this point. “In-fact he’s already here.”

“What?! That’s fast!” Ryosuke exclaimed and though he can’t see his face, Yuto was thinking he must really be surprised.

_‘I wonder how long did Jin-nii needed to actually get here.’_

“Yeah, he probably just let himself in before Kazu-nii actually let him, they both just went into Kazu-nii’s room”. Yuto could hear the slamming of the door next to his and then there were more rustling and rattling noises coming from the next room that he thought a bear had actually came rampaging the house.

“Oh. I see…” A paused. “Well I don’t think he will do anything to hurt Kazu-nii but you just be careful…though I don’t think he will actually hurt anybody.” Yuto then shuddered at the thought if Jin was to actually go after him with a knife or to strangle him for that matter.

“I totally understand, anything I can or should do?” he whispered into the phone this time though he’s sure no one can actually hear him even if he were to speak at his usual tone what with the ruckus going on next door.

“I have no idea, but good luck! Ah- my phone is going flat, talk to you later!” with that, Ryosuke ended the line and Yuto let the dial tone rang for a while as he blanked, having no clue as to what he was supposed to do now before shutting his phone.

His room fell into total silence. Not even the ruckus caused next door. The only sound he could hear was the beating of his heart, as it beat rapidly against his chest while he was still on his bed kneeling on one knee and was leaning against the other.

Very soon after, a slight thud could be heard behind the wall so as curiosity got the better, he leaned forward more with both arms at his side while fisting both hands so that he could prevent himself from falling forward. He should feel lucky that his bed is placed against the wall so he was able to scoot closer to the wall and leaning against it for support with his left ear and his palms now pressed against it. Well you could say that he is currently trying to eavesdrop.

 _“Kazu…for fun you say, sleeping with me, and its only to satisfy our sexual desire hmm…?_ ” Yuto then heard Jin’s voice from the other side. It sounded so seductive but there was a tinge of bitterness and irritation as he said those words.

 _“…Yeah I did, So…?”_ Kazuya tried to keep his cool but it was hard as his voice was slightly trembling. It is obvious that Jin’s voice had some effect on him- heck it even made the eavesdropping boy blushed! Yuto couldn’t be anymore glad that he can’t see their faces, hearing their conversation is bad enough as it is.

_“Hmm…then I’ll make you fall for me.”_

_“Pft. What for?”_ There was a hint of amusement in Kazuya’s tone.

 _“I’m serious.”_ It wasn’t even seduction anymore, even Yuto could feel the sincerity coming from Jin.

 _“Y-yeah, as if.”_ Kazuya snorted with those words coming out from Jin. It seems to Yuto that his older brother was just in denial. _“Do you even know what you’re saying?”_ he chuckled.

 _“Don’t. Don’t try to run from me.”_ He couldn’t see them but Jin’s voice sounded rather serious that for that instance, Yuto completely forgot it was two male talking like a bitching soon-to-be-couple that he really felt like smacking his brother for being a denial butt ass.

 _“I don’t need an answer now. Just don’t run away from me.”_ The poor boy now gulped as he hesitated whether or not he should continue eavesdropping on them since after all it is their privacy, but curiosity got the better of him.

 _“What makes you say that...I’m not running away…”_ A paused. _“Are you an idiot?”_

_“Look at me.”_

_“Idiot…”_ If Yuto could imagine how they would look right now-anything at all, he would think his older brother is blushing profusely averting his eyes anywhere- like a drunken throwing darts aimlessly at nowhere but the board that is to score- in this case, the person speaking to him.

 _“Looking at you, I can tell you don’t mean it.”_ Now Jin’s voice sounded playful and tinge of cheekiness-something must be up his sleeves- like an idiot which only concluded to what Kazuya just named him.

Sounds of sudden shifting and ruffling of the bedsheets could be heard, the creaking of the bed post as the weight on top of it shifted, soft and loud thud could be heard among all those noises.

… 

 _“No…”_ the voice sounded like Kazu-nii’s but it was muffled. _“Yuto is in the next room...”_

_“I know.”_

_“Y-you asshole…”_ Kazuya started to sound a little breathless.

Knowing what they were saying and is about to do, I jolted from a loud thud that just sounded right next to his ear, he probably would have gotten full impact of the sound if not for the wall that was inbetween.

 _“S-sto-“_ the conversation continued on, or at least that is what it seemed like it-there are still words forming no matter. Yuto could feel the heat building up within and unconsciously he stayed completely still. _“Let...go…”_ Kazuya was trying to voice his protest much to it ending as a failure when the next thing that had escaped was a moan.

There were more futile struggling, more sluggish panting, more breathless moaning, and more words that sounded incredulously of “No”, “Don’t and Stop”.

 

_‘Whaatt?? So is what??? “No don’t stop” or “No, don’t’ do it, please stop.”???’_

 

Yuto’s inner mind is totally spinning with all the giddiness and the confusing words coming out from his brother and burning up with embarrassment that visible sweat could be seen! His lips are trembling and he could feel his heart thumping profusely against his chest as if would leap out anytime.

 

_What is this?? Why am I feeling like this??_

 

 _“I love you”_ who said that?! _“I love you”_

_“Don’t say stuff like that-Hmph…Ugh”_

_“Why not?”_ A slurp. _“Your body reacts to it every time I say it…I love it.”_

_“Asshole- Hmpf“_

 

Drip. Drop. Drip.

 

_Huh?_

 

Before Yuto realize, there were tears falling. Why was he crying he had no idea, there was an indescribable feeling crawling up and all he knows was at that moment, he just felt like crying and something  tightened so incredulously it was hard to breathe. Yuto place a palm over his mouth in order to muffle his cries though- I don’t think anyone can hear it at that moment.  

 

_Need to get out. Can’t breathe._

 

Panic with confusion, Yuto couldn’t take it no longer, its excruciating and the next thing he knew, he had leap off from his bed, out of his room door with a slam and finally out of the house with a bang. Not that the loud sounds would disturb the pair but he wouldn’t know and don’t want to either. 

Yuto dashed into the dark streets without a clue as to where he could go. All he know was that getting away from his house at the moment would be the best. He was all confused and trembling with tears and only slowed down after when it felt like he couldn’t run anymore. Looking up at the sky, it was dark and clear and little stars could be seen. Is the sky as blank as me? When he felt that his nerves had calmed and he could breathe again, he looked down to face the ground, thinking back as to what had happened and the reason for the unintended tears.

Was it because it was two guys loving each other? Something deemed forbidden by the society? Was it because it was a relationship between both his best friend’s and his brother? Will it affect his friendship with Ryosuke…despite how he had already assured him? Was he afraid how people would look as him; at them knowing they are different? Afraid of being despised? Hated? Or that he just simply got a brother complex? Was he afraid that his brother would leave him?

 _‘_ _I have no idea! It’s too much to take in! All I know is that I am so confused! How do you expect a middle kid to understand all of this? What I was being taught and told from adults to what I see with my very own eyes are totally different!’_

 

He was so deep in thoughts that he didn’t hear someone calling him.

“Yuto!”

 

_Huh?_

 

“Yuto!” He looked up looking for the source of the voice when he faintly heard it.

 

_Ryo-chan…_

 

“Yuto! What happened?” He seemed shocked seeing him around at this late of the hour. “Your eyes are swollen! Were you crying?” His voice so full of concern that he felt at ease immediately being around.

“Are you alright?” the said boy didn’t even felt like lying.

“…Not really...” he mumbled.

“What?! Did Jin-nii scold you? Did he hit you?” Ryosuke exclaimed.

“He didn’t hit anyone…but they were…somehow…really…-” Yuto closed his eyes forcing himself to suppressed the tears that were forming again.

“They were doing it again?...ah-” Ryosuke continued what was meant to be left unsaid and realized only a little too late and Yuto’s tears stopped as he felt pricked by his words. Yuto had that ‘do you have to’ looked towards Ryosuke who just smiled sheepishly.

“…”

“…Yuto are you alright?” he tried again.

“I said I wasn’t.”

“Ah…” Ryo-chan then reached a hand out to console the tall boy but out of instinct Yuto immediately jolted back from the touch.  He was conscious of it and before he realize, something unintended came out.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Yuto shouted as he harshly slapped away his hand.

It echoed in the silent of the night that he was sure the neighborhood would have come running out to whatever the ruckus had been about.

“…” Ryosuke retracted his hand which felt numbed from the attacked and Yuto could only gasp once he regain back his composure and realizes his action awhile ago.

“I-I’m s-sorry…” A hand reached forward and stopped- “I-I didn’t m-mean it…” and it was retracted back again “I…”

Ryosuke was taken aback from the action and only stood still silently as he try to stay indifferent and hearing the taller out. That look he had clearly told Yuto he was clueless but hurt- it made Yuto guilty but in his current confused state, there was nothing Yuto could...or even want to do. It felt weird and he blamed his instincts.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued as he crouched down to the ground, hiding his face in his knees. “I don’t know anything anymore. I’m confused as to what is what…” lifting his head up slightly just in time to see his best friend clenching his fist but “…I’m…” he couldn’t finish his words as his tears flow freely on its own again.

_I’m sorry Ryo-chan…_

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Yuto.” There was confusion in his soft tone. Not knowing how to respond, Yuto didn’t answer but continued to stare straight ahead where it’s unfocused at the other’s still clenched fist.

“Yuto…Don’t cry…Please?” the older was hurting yet he is still trying to be the calm and collected one. Always protecting and comforting Yuto when he can while the younger on the other hand just hurt him, didn’t trust him and actually shouted something he never should have to his own best friend. “I’m alright Yuto…really I am.”

Yuto  lifted his head further and what  saw the gloom in those light brown orbs, eyebrows clenching as he tried to force a smile. “…I’m alright…” he tilted his head slightly as he looks at Yuto- not really looking at him but the ground pass him with that forced smile never leaving.

Ryosuke then crouches down so that he could be on the same level. Yuto could feel his own heart hitting against his chest, this time clenching his fist as he does not want it to be seen trembling. There was a moment of silence as they gazed at each other, each probably had a battle on their own somewhere inside them. Ryosuke trying to keep himself from breaking down- after all, his brother is involved as well, Yuto blaming himself for the outburst silently. 

“Don’t worry,” Ryosuke sighed after what seems like so long, “I won’t touch you or anything. Please don’t be mad…” he sounded insecure for fear their friendship would be ruined with a mere petty fight.

Many things are going on in Yuto’s mind and although he heard what Ryosuke have tried to assure him, he can’t do the same for him about what just happened. He was sure he wasn’t mad and opened his mouth to say- Ryosuke is always there when he needed him. They will always be best friends no matter what- but nothing came out.

Ryosuke smile, so forced that his lips could be seen trembling- and that he is trying to hide it from Yuto, he crosses his arms, clutching them tightly to suppress himself for the emotions that were now too much too bear.

 

★ ♩ ♫ ♪♬ ☆

 

_Why…?_

 

_‘Why won’t he let me touch him…? What happened…?’_

 

Ryosuke felt his eyes water as he tried his best to suppress the tears from escaping. he sniffed as softly as he could as his nose got blocked just trying to keep his tears out. Yuto will surely notice soon enough. He felt bad, he felt that he needed to get away from him before he sees it, Ryosuke didn’t want to make him feel anymore guilty then he already is adding the fact that he was still utterly confused and in the state of shock. Yuto doesn’t need any more problems.

 

_But it hurts._

 

_‘This is bad…’_

 

Ryosuke stood up- quite abruptly noticing the flinched from Yuto, while he was still in control he closed his eyes, took in a breath and then look him in the eye again.

“I-I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ryosuke said hurriedly which he then turned his eyes away with his fist clenched again. He turned around, back facing him and then dashing away as fast as he legs could carry. 

Back at Yuto’s house, the two older brothers who were in their own world oblivious to the fact that their actions are affecting the younger ones (such insensitive brothers). They were just finishing up their intimate session when Jin was just about to leave. Yuto too happened to just reach home and was at the entrance way taking off his shoes.

“Hey.” Jin just came down from the stairs and was heading towards the door when he saw Yuto coming in.

Yuto didn’t answer, he glared daggers at Jin and then steeled himself sweeping pass the older as he walks in further into the house without acknowledging the other. Jin just stood there with a puzzled face but shrugged it off as nothing, at least none of his concerns anyways and headed out of the house.

Yuto slowed down his pace after hearing the entrance door closed with a click.

 _‘It’s all their fault’._ He thought _‘Why did Ryosuke looked so dejected?’_ He entered his room and locked his door as he stood behind it leaning his back again it. The image of a hurt and dejected (for whatever reasons) Ryosuke flashed through his mind. He then walk towards his bed as he flopped face flat onto his bed. His faced was still flushed and even though there is no one to see, he still hides his face into the pillow.

 _‘Why was Ryouske crying?’_ a million thoughts battling each other in Yuto’s head as they try to fight their way through for answers. It was exhausting for Yuto who seemed to have been through a lot and thinking too much that it seems to have taken a toll to his mind so he shut downs and slowly drifts off to slumber land…

 

…

…

…

 

_“Didn’t I tell you to act normal..?” Yuto felt a weight on top of him and he could hear a faint voice telling him. He recognized that gentle voice and doesn’t seemed to be surprised at all that Ryosuke was  here, in his room, straddling on top of him as he turn his head back to face him._

_“Ryo-chan…” He whispered._

_“You are ruining it for us by not acting natural…” Staring down at him, Yuto could see the same hurt look from before on Ryosuke’s face. The one just before he was left alone after slapping away Ryosuke’s hand. His face was filled with sadness as he clamped his lips._

_“It hurts…so bad…” Yuto sat up on his bed to better face Ryosuke, he gulped as he was reminded that he didn’t do what he was told to so that everyone would be safe from getting hurt. He cringe his forehead which then raises his eyebrows towards each other. He continue to being silent taking in whatever Ryosuke was spilling out to him._

_“You slapped my hand away…it really hurts…” Ryosuke was saying it with sorrow as he trembled harshly. Tears were threatening to fall but he manages to hold it in, a closed right hand places over his mouth to stop sounds from escaping as the left is placed over the right to give it a more steady hold._

_“I’m sorry…” Yuto said as he stared at Ryosuke’s face. Slowly he lifted his hands to reach for Ryosuke’s, removing it from covering his angelic face that Yuto never realizes it before. Initially he was only caressing it, soothing Ryosuke from the sadness he was feeling as Ryosuke remains at his position. Yuto then clasp their hands, intertwining it as Yuto moved closer to his best friend._

_They held on for a good few minutes staring into each other’s eyes, unwavering and full of emotions. Their hearts were thumping loud against their chest, threatening to fall out and explode but none of them cared. Though it was, Ryosuke moved towards Yuto, their eyes never leaving each other’s gaze in which he then placed his lips lightly and softly onto Yuto’s, but ready for any rejections if it comes. However, instead of a push to come, Ryosuke hears a soft whimper eliciting from Yuto’s which excites him and to further pushed on._

_Ryosuke then licked and nibbled onto Yuto’s requesting for entry in which Yuto responded by opening his mouth. The moment it was widen enough, the older took no chances and stuck his tongue in tasting the warm and moist cavern that is Yuto’s mouth. They battled with their tongues for a good while but with Ryosuke reign dominant with the kisses and Yuto wasn’t going to complain about it. Ryosuke angled his head a little for better access and tries to push further in (to the point it almost choked Yuto- if that is even possible), slurping and exchanging that sweet liquid, while parting for air once in a while._

_They were both flushed red on the cheeks but none cared as it only made it seem more adorable to the other. Ryosuke shifted slightly and instead grab onto Yuto’s hands afraid he might run away from what he was about to do. He tilted his head and removing his lips from the other’s, trailing kisses to the younger’s cheek and further down to the neck and collarbones eliciting a soft moan from his lips. Ryosuke then licked them, occasionally sucking a little here and there and then continue to leave kisses after each red mark._

_Ryosuke lowered them both as he straddled them both and clothes were off in an instant in that heated moment (that even we didn’t see that coming). They were both naked as more trails of kisses were planted as Yuto panted for air, trying to be as soft as he could though it deemed hard with all the ministrations done on him that it couldn’t control the moans that escaped. Ryosuke went further down to one of his nipple and gave it a small lick as one of his hand travelled downwards to hold onto what it wanted. Yuto jolted from the sudden touch that was cold but was quickly used to it as Ryosuke was warming it as he pumped it…_

_They are young and new to such, and Ryosuke was merely following his brother with what he thinks might work on Yuto but not too harsh (they are after still middle schoolers), while the younger, unable to control was already at his edge of release. Soon enough, Yuto folded his toes as he came with a cry of the older’s name…_

…

…

…

 

Yuto woke up the next morning feeling very much groggy, eyes still heavy from the reluctance of opening up to the sunshine. But Yuto couldn’t go back to sleep, not when he realizes what had happened while he was asleep…he stared at his now sticky hands, noticeable thick white liquid could be seen trailing down his fingers…Apparently he had the wet dreams…one that consists of the very much person he just hurt last night.

“What the…!” He quickly wipes them on the sheets and ruffles his bed hair in frustration. He then sat still on his bed, not moving a single inch as he felt the exhaustion from the lack of sleep (the very bad darken eye bags) coming down onto him. It’s like an invisible weight has been thrown on top of him making him immobilized.

It finally took him sometime to decide that he needed to wash up and head to school that he headed towards the bathroom on the way passing his brother who was already for school as was about to leave the house.

“What happened to you?” Kazuya seemed to notice the gloom aura surrounding his brother (as mentioned, Yuto eyes bag were too obvious) that he couldn’t help asking him in concern.

“…” Yuto decided not to mention anything that had happened or that he was actually blaming his brother for the recent events that was going on between him and Ryosuke. He continued to glare at his brother but it wasn’t that much of a success seeing how his eyes drooped heavily and his brother didn’t catch the glare either. He continued brushing his teeth, washing his face while keeping his eye on his brother whom he could see his reflection through the mirror, noticing that Kazuya was currently looking at him.

Once done, he walked passed him quickly as if Kazuya wasn’t there or that he was in a hurry to prepare for school. Kazuya watched him go and disappeared up the stairs towards the direction of Yuto’s room. He wonder what was up with his little brother but he didn’t want to pry if Yuto doesn’t want to say, it is just as much that he wouldn’t want to tell Yuto about the wrong things that the young boy needn’t need to know either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> x-posted to [Livejournal](https://timeforfunideas.livejournal.com/8529.html)

**Author's Note:**

> x-posted to [ Livejournal ](http://timeforfunideas.livejournal.com/7667.html)


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